Generosity, and the Power of Asking

Fundraising is...interesting. And new for me.

I mean, sure, I did the elementary school candy bar and wrapping paper sales but this is totally different. A whole new world, really. This isn't door-to-door salesman kind of fundraising, this is intense, kinda-in-your-face fundraising. Because the goal is bold...$2,300 (at least), it requires me to be bold too. That's the only way I will raise the money and it puts me so far out of my comfort zone it's not even funny.

I was planning on joining some friends for an all-day scrapbooking event at The Scrapbook Barn yesterday, so Kendra and I decided to try to make it into a fundraising event. You have to really put yourself out there to plan something like this, even though it was going to be a super small fundraiser. It's kind of nerve wracking. I was so sure the door was going to be slammed in my face (more on my negative thinking tomorrow, hopefully). But something amazing happened. I emailed the owner's daughter (per instruction) and she said we could do the event in their store! And then I got the local donut place to donate two dozen donuts...and Kendra got a bakery to give us 3 dozen cookies.

I stayed up late making a sign and typing up a little blurb about what we were doing. I was exhausted. Seriously. And then it was time for the event...and I found out that only one other person was signed up to scrapbook. I was upset and super pessimistic. But then a couple of people showed up and then a few more...and we ended up with around 15 women. And those women donated $50...not too shabby for such a small gathering!

It was a great way to get our feet wet. And I'm excited about our upcoming events...more on that to come!

Back On The Wagon

Moving on!

I'm back on the wagon and I'm feeling pretty good (besides a nasty case of shin splints...anyone have any tips?). I did my P90 sculpt yesterday and the P90 cardio today topped off with a 1.44 mile walk around the neighborhood. I thought it was going to be pretty painful to pick it back up but it hasn't been bad at all. I was really energized after my P90 today...hence the walk. I can tell I probably pushed it a little because my injury from a couple of weeks ago flared back up a bit. I took a steaming hot bath and have spent the evening on the couch. Hopefully I will be okay for tomorrow!

My eating has been pretty decent the past couple of days too. Yesterday I had cereal for breakfast, a Lean Cuisine and yogurt for lunch, and spaghetti (with whole wheat noodles) and green beans for dinner...and are you ready??? NO dessert!!! Today I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a Lean Cuisine and yogurt for lunch, homemade cheese and tomato pizza (with minimal cheese and whole wheat thin crust) with a low-fat Caesar salad...and NO dessert! The hardest part of the eating for me (and Jeff) is at night, while we are watching TV. It's how we relax and unwind and spend time together. We ALWAYS eat during this time...and since the baby has been born it's gotten excessive. A HUGE bowl of ice cream with hot fudge is the norm but it's not unheard of for us to eat something we lovingly refer to as "4th meal"...basically a second, high-fat dinner that usually follows a decently healthy meal. I'm not gonna lie...I'm starving at night and it hasn't been easy. We eat dinner at 5:30 because of the kids. I'm hoping that my body will gradually get used to this.

The most important thing I'm learning is that it's okay to fail. What I'm doing is HARD. I have an addiction...and sometimes it will get the best of me. The important thing is that I get back up and kick the addiction's ass the next hour/day/week/whatever. It doesn't have the be the end of another failed "diet". So, this is me. Getting back up. And kicking the addiction's ass. Boo ya!

Weigh-In: Week 4

Weight: 215.2lbs

Bleh.

P90 starts full force again this week (Mondays are "off days" in the 3 Day training schedule so I'm sticking with that). My eating wasn't horrible today, but I'm really discouraged by the food aspect of this. I can deal with the fact that I was laid up for the last couple of weeks and obviously my work outs suffered...but the eating? I could have done better. I should have done better. I loathe myself right now...and it makes me wanna eat. *sigh*

Tomorrow's a new day, right?

Confession

I have been eating crap. LOTS of it. And I'm really disappointed in myself.

It's kind of a vicious cycle...do pretty good for a week (maybe two), "cheat", hate myself, soothe myself with more food. Rinse and repeat. How do I break the cycle? How do I beat this addiction to food and how it makes me feel? How do I cope?

I need to get real with myself.

Weigh-in later. And it won't be pretty.

3 Day Training

I have received and read through my 3 Day handbook and Team Captain training guide. 83 pages my friends and I read it in a couple of hours! It included pretty much everything I needs to know about the event, including training. The 3 day training is extensive and they offer an insane amount of support to help you reach your goals. I had the option of either a 16 week program or a 24 week program (pgs. 32 & 33...please let me know if this link does not work)...with 261 days left until the event I feel like the 24 week course is the best choice. That also still leaves me quite a bit of time to get in better shape before the endurance training starts.

Right now, in this second, I cannot fathom walking 10, 15, or 20 miles at a time. I've never accomplished something like this. I've never challenged myself on this level. But I am confident that I can do this.

Go BIG, or go home!

I Did It!

I registered for the 3 Day! I am SUPER excited!

Our team name is "Walkers 4 Knockers" and I am the Team Captain. So far, it's still just me and Kendra but a couple of other girls have shown some interest. I would love for us to have a team of at least 4. We will see what happens.

I have a lot more to share with y'all...but it's almost midnight and I'm exhausted. G'night, friends!

Weigh In: Weeks 2 & 3

Weight: 213.0lbs

I lumped the last two weeks worth of weigh-ins because of a couple of reasons...1-I couldn't stand up straight for the pictures last Monday, 2-I wasn't able to do anything but sit on the couch this week, and 3-I was seriously discouraged and didn't really feel up to blogging until I got back on my feet.

I spent a lot of time behind the scenes, working on stuff for the 3 Day since I couldn't do much on the physical end. There is more coming on this...within a day or two...but the important thing for you to know right now is that I'm back! And I'm going to start my workouts back up tomorrow...no leg lifts and I have to take it easy, but it's a move in the right direction! Thanks for hanging with me guys!

Laid Up

I went to a follow-up appointment with my midwife yesterday. She got my records from the hospital when I went to the ER. She looked over those and asked me a ton of questions before she did the exam. She determined that I somehow managed to pull my round ligament muscle on my right side. She said that the pain has nothing to do with an ovarian cyst and was more than likely the result of having babies back to back and pushing myself too hard with the work outs recently. The treatment is pretty simple...I'm laid up on the couch for the next several days and I have to take anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers every 8 hours. I'm supposed to alternate ice and heat and generally take it easy. MK...I can TOTALLY do that! I'm going to read, watch TV, and catch up on sleep. Jeff will be working from home and he is simply amazing at running the household while I'm down for the count. I'm SO blessed to have such a capable and caring hubby!

I'm allowed to start working out as soon as I feel NO pain...and I have to take it really slow and build back up. I'm going to utilize this time to do a bunch of research on the 3 Day. We have a team name picked out and I will be attending a "get started" meeting on Thursday evening, where I will get registered. I'm SUPER excited!!!

I still owe y'all a weigh-in. It's coming...sorry!

One Thing After Another

I didn't fit in a work-out on Saturday. We were SUPER busy.

And now I feel SUPER guilty because I couldn't work-out yesterday, and I can't work-out today, and probably not tomorrow either. I had to go to the ER yesterday afternoon. I had a severe pain come out of nowhere on my lower right pelvic area...it was so debilitating I couldn't walk. After blood work, a urine sample, a pelvic exam, and a sono it was determined that I have a small (1.6cm) cyst on my right ovary. I have a history of cysts and this one is really small and not showing any signs of causing problems (it's not twisted, it's not filled with blood, etc.). So I'm not understanding why it's causing so much pain. The doctor told me that there could have been a second cyst that ruptured...they don't always see that on a sono after the fact. That would make much more sense. She said *if* it was a ruptured cyst, the pain is usually much better within a day or two.

I'm not really sure where to go from here. I don't know if I should call my midwife tomorrow or wait a couple of days. The pain is much more manageable today so I'm leaning towards giving it another day or two. Cysts are a normal part of the female cycle, but they can cause problems if they do not burst after an egg is released. I'm in the middle of my cycle so it is completely expected that I would have a cyst of this size right now...totally normal. I don't really feel like there is a whole lot my doctor will do except tell me to wait and see what the cyst does after I start another period.

And what does this mean for working out? That's the most frustrating part. How long will I be out of the game? It's a wait and see kinda thing...and I'm not good at "wait and see". Bleh.

Weigh in tonight. I'll be back...

Working It Out

I'm starting to find my comfort zone with working out. I wasn't sure how I was going to fit it into my daily routine. It's tough with the three kids, their different schedules, B's school (which is about a 40 minute drive each way...that's 4 times a day on Tues/Thurs), and making sure I get to spend some much needed quality time with my husband every evening. But I'm starting to feel pretty confident that I can fit it in as long as I make it a priority...without having to wake up early (which is not an option at this point in my life when sleep is such a commodity). I'm also feeling stronger. I can tell that I'm making decent progress, especially with the push-ups and lunges...HUGE improvement! And I'm upping my weights for the strength training next week.

What I have NOT been able to figure out is how I'm supposed to walk every day. The weather has not been consistently cooperative and I don't have a treadmill. We have talked about purchasing one gently used but I really don't have the space for it. I'm not stressing about it yet. I feel like there is plenty of time and I can start to focus on that after the weather warms up a bit.

I have also been able to avoid the "forbidden" foods/drinks. I cut out all fast food on Monday (healthier fast food still okay, i.e. Subway) and I haven't even been tempted. My craving for chicken fried steak fell to the wayside so I never indulged. I am still eating a TON of sweets and higher fat foods, although I have started eating Lean Cuisines most days for lunch. Eating in front of the TV at night continues to be my biggest struggle.

The transition from white to wheat happens next Monday...which will probably be the most difficult yet, but it's gotta happen sometime!

Do It Anyway

I wanted something big. HUGE, really. That was the point...to find something that would motivate me to make a drastic change in my life. So I chose the 3 Day.

And then I lost my walking buddy. And I was REALLY upset and disappointed...and ready to give up on my dream (because that's what the 3 Day has become for me). I thought it was out-of-reach and that I would have to settle for something else to motivate me. Poor. Pitiful. Stephani.

But you know what I decided? No, damn it! I will NOT give up on myself! Do I wish that my friend would still want to walk with me? Absolutely! Am I gonna miss her like crazy through this process? You bet your ass! But it's not a deal breaker.

I have decided to go forward with my plan to do the 3 Day in November. My husband and my friend, Kendra have both offered to do the walk with me. I am very realistic that there is a possibility that we may not be able to raise the money necessary for all three of us to participate ($2,300 each). Kendra has a small network of people to get donations from (as do I)...meaning that the majority of the funds will need to come from fundraising, which is obviously VERY time consuming. She also has 3 very young children at home that she cares for practically by herself since her husband's job requires long hours. Jeff will be pulling donations from the same pool of people that I will be. We have decided that we will work on reaching "my" $2,300 first and if we are successful we will start to work on earning his way into the 3 Day. I have made the decision to walk "alone" if it ends up working out that way. I'm not gonna lie, the thought of that is kinda scary. It definitely wouldn't be my first choice...but I'm gonna do it anyway. I know I can do this! I WILL do this!

Go big, or go home!

Weigh In: Week 1

Weight: 213.8lbs




So, no weight loss but I'm okay with that. I worked out 5 days in the first week and I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm making progress physically, even if the number hasn't changed. On to week 2!

Another Blip...errr...Road Block?

My partner for the 3 day backed out. I'm not really sure where to go from here. I have a couple of options:

1. I can do the walk by myself, which is the least appealing option for me. This was supposed to be about camaraderie, friendship, girl-power...not so much if I do it by myself. And who wants to walk 60 miles and share a tent with a stranger? Yes, I'm sure I would make a few friends along the way...I just don't think I have it in me to do this alone.

2. Jeff offered to do it with me, which would be great except for the financial aspect of it. That means we would need to raise $4,600 using the same pool of friends, family, co-workers. And we would have to spend $180 in registration fees, $ for sleeping bags, $ for athletic gear. And a babysitter.

3. I can try to put another group together. I've put the word out there and only have one person interested. I'm honestly not willing to do this as a group of two at this point...too much can happen and then all of the hard work would be for nothing.

4. I can find something else to motivate me. I feel like this is the best option at this point. And that sucks.

I'm basically back at square one. Bleh. Makes me feel like giving up. But I won't. Some words of encouragement would be great at this point.

I will post my weigh in results and pictures this evening.